RE: The true story of a family man whose congressional testimony—delivered while hooked up to a dialysis machine—leads to landmark legislation making dialysis treatments universally available. Working title: God Committee
It’s rare to see such an improvement and so quickly!
This is a case where it may help to have two loglines. This one for marketing and another for craft.
Don’t know if it’s being Canadian, but it’s hard to appreciate the Congress part. Don’t know if it’s the years since this moment or if it’s not knowing anyone who underwent dialysis, but it’s hard to appreciate the victory. Or maybe it’s because legislation (or some other solution) was inevitable and there’s more to be mined from the committee, which is terribly dramatic. Curious if that’s only in the setup or if it plays a larger role.
Couple of tweaks to consider…
– congressional testimony in 1972
– leads to landmark coverage for dialysis treatments that saved x lives.