RE: When  a young  detective gets challenged by a killer, he will have to ask help to his wise mentor  with whom he had  fought hard.

      cesare88 Penpusher Posted on May 8, 2020 in Thriller.
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        Young is rarely a good description for  a main character, but I get where you’re coming from in your logline: the detective is inexperienced and thus has to find help by asking his mentor.

        But better if you go with inexperienced or half-baked. That’s a more visual description and states his flaw in a clearer way.

        Also: replace challenged with something more urgent. Maybe they kidnap someone close to the detective or someone else, just give the character a clear visual goal he has to take on as an active part of the story. Right now, he is just asking his mentor for help. But it’s your main character (detective) we want to see achieve the goal of your story.

        Mentor Answered on May 8, 2020.

        Hi. Thanks for your tips. It’s a bit hard to explain it here, but. The story starts with this detective that gets a premation for his good job. I’ts still young. Thinks that he can arrest everybody. Then, once i get home; he found a sheet on the doormat. There’s written Come see what I did, Mr. Detective. this killer leaves little clues here and there. this detective has to put the puzzle togheter, bust struggles. SO i decide, with pain, to ask help o his old mentor.

        This is a bit the concept.

        on May 8, 2020.
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