RE: When a young homeless woman is confronted by an evil older male blackmailer, who holds the key to her secret, she must choose between her dignity and a roof over her head. (this is for a scene, but I’m requested to submit a logline for it).

      torgodog Logliner Posted on May 5, 2020 in Drama.
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      5 Reviews

        I think you were trying too hard to be mysterious and secretive and ended up with a convoluted sentence full of pleonasm. Blackmailers are always more evil than anyone else in the film; if you know someone’s secret you have the keys to the secret; you can’t blackmail a homeless person with homelessness.

        Maybe you wanted something like one of the following:

        A fifty year-old man blackmails a twenty year-old woman, leaving her the choice between living with him  as his mistress or unemployment and homelessness.

        A middle-aged man tells a homeless, eighteen year-old runaway he’ll inform her parents of her whereabouts unless she  agrees to live  with him as his mistress.

        Mentor Answered on May 5, 2020.
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