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  1. Posted: September 7, 2021In: Examples

    When his son is kidnapped, an overprotective father must go on a long and tough journey to find his son.

    NeedyGoldfish Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 7, 2021 at 1:08 am

    This works - character, event and action are all in place! However, it would be nice to get something about why this journey is meaningful for the father - "must face his fears" or something along those lines. Also, the repetition of the word 'son' makes the read a tiny bit clunkier - try changing iRead more

    This works – character, event and action are all in place! However, it would be nice to get something about why this journey is meaningful for the father – “must face his fears” or something along those lines. Also, the repetition of the word ‘son’ makes the read a tiny bit clunkier – try changing it to ‘him’ or ‘child’ the second time.

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  2. Posted: September 7, 2021In: Examples

    When her sister runs away after accidentally putting their kingdom in eternal winter with her magical powers, a princess has to team up with a rugged mountain man to find her sister and stop winter.

    anna_gotland Penpusher
    Added an answer on September 7, 2021 at 12:08 am

    Nice! I think it could be even better by describing the princess a bit, for example by using an adjective. What is this particular princess like, and why is it difficult for her to team up with the rugged mountain man?

    Nice! I think it could be even better by describing the princess a bit, for example by using an adjective. What is this particular princess like, and why is it difficult for her to team up with the rugged mountain man?

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  3. Posted: July 25, 2021In: Examples

    After being hired to lead a failing breakfast TV show, a talented but undervalued producer is forced to use crazy tactics in order to improve its ratings.

    Nordic12 Penpusher
    Added an answer on July 26, 2021 at 9:25 am

    I am not sure if I should be anticipating a sit com or a clever drama. I think "crazy" leaves some anticipating humor and others, unconventional but clever.

    I am not sure if I should be anticipating a sit com or a clever drama. I think “crazy” leaves some anticipating humor and others, unconventional but clever.

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