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When his son is kidnapped, an overprotective father must go on a long and tough journey to find his son.
This works - character, event and action are all in place! However, it would be nice to get something about why this journey is meaningful for the father - "must face his fears" or something along those lines. Also, the repetition of the word 'son' makes the read a tiny bit clunkier - try changing iRead more
This works – character, event and action are all in place! However, it would be nice to get something about why this journey is meaningful for the father – “must face his fears” or something along those lines. Also, the repetition of the word ‘son’ makes the read a tiny bit clunkier – try changing it to ‘him’ or ‘child’ the second time.
See lessWhen her sister runs away after accidentally putting their kingdom in eternal winter with her magical powers, a princess has to team up with a rugged mountain man to find her sister and stop winter.
Nice! I think it could be even better by describing the princess a bit, for example by using an adjective. What is this particular princess like, and why is it difficult for her to team up with the rugged mountain man?
Nice! I think it could be even better by describing the princess a bit, for example by using an adjective. What is this particular princess like, and why is it difficult for her to team up with the rugged mountain man?
See lessAfter being hired to lead a failing breakfast TV show, a talented but undervalued producer is forced to use crazy tactics in order to improve its ratings.
I am not sure if I should be anticipating a sit com or a clever drama. I think "crazy" leaves some anticipating humor and others, unconventional but clever.
I am not sure if I should be anticipating a sit com or a clever drama. I think “crazy” leaves some anticipating humor and others, unconventional but clever.
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