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A housewife and her estranged father mixed up in killing a loan shark struggle to escape both the police hunting them and a brothers vengeance to save the innocent members of their family.
Not too bad -- the main issue I think is in regards to the logic of the goal.. as in, why are they needing to save the innocent members of their family? Also - 'mixed up' is a bit vague, as is the Brother's need for vengeance..? 'A bored housewife finds herself on the run from the law after killingRead more
Not too bad — the main issue I think is in regards to the logic of the goal.. as in, why are they needing to save the innocent members of their family? Also – ‘mixed up’ is a bit vague, as is the Brother’s need for vengeance..?
‘A bored housewife finds herself on the run from the law after killing a loan shark to protect her estranged father-in-law’
?
Best of luck 🙂
See lessA former US Marine living in Japan uncovers a conspiracy that runs far deeper than Tokyo’s criminal underworld when he is recruited to help avenge the murder of a Yakuza boss.
You should give us a hint as to what is special about the lead character... Why him? When an ex-CIA agent living in Japan is hired to avenge the murder of a Yakuza boss, he must...
You should give us a hint as to what is special about the lead character… Why him?
When an ex-CIA agent living in Japan is hired to avenge the murder of a Yakuza boss, he must…
See lessA disgraced cop, offered the chance to regain custody of his son unearths a hidden layer of secrets of those involved within and outside the law when he must catch a serial killer before more children die.
I like the idea of your story but felt the logline could do with a bit more work. Here's a rewrite for your consideration. Use it as your own if it suits your story. "Despite risk of becoming the scapegoat of a corrupt police force, an honest cop commits unwarranted intervention against a child killRead more
I like the idea of your story but felt the logline could do with a bit more work. Here’s a rewrite for your consideration. Use it as your own if it suits your story.
“Despite risk of becoming the scapegoat of a corrupt police force, an honest cop commits unwarranted intervention against a child killer thus hindering his chance of regaining custody of his son.”
See less