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When a bullied student takes his own life after committing a school shooting, his best friend, and those who are affected by the tragedy, are trying to get through the trauma.
Perhaps from the point of view of the lead character: ----- "When his best friend commits a school shooting, a grieving student reflects on what he could have done to prevent the horrific event while also struggling to move forward from the tragedy."
Perhaps from the point of view of the lead character:
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“When his best friend commits a school shooting, a grieving student reflects on what he could have done to prevent the horrific event while also struggling to move forward from the tragedy.”
A drug-addicted jr. high teacher seeks redemption by helping an abused student who’s dad is her dealer.
Pretty solid concept and I sort of 'get' the story from the logline. I like it.
Pretty solid concept and I sort of ‘get’ the story from the logline.
See lessI like it.
After the death of their father 4 children must face their abusive mother and expose her lies and abuse if they want to have a chance at a happy life.
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read. You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after 'father'. Because of the "and ... and", I would probably also put a comma after the second 'abuse'. That would make it a tad eRead more
On the surface, the logline follows a clear structure, which makes it fairly easy to read.
You may find a way to avoid the repetition of abusive/abuse, and add a comma after ‘father’. Because of the “and … and”, I would probably also put a comma after the second ‘abuse’. That would make it a tad easier for me.
In terms of the story, I am not gripped by it because there is no clear point of view. “4 children” is too vague, as I don’t have any particular character to engage with. At the very least, a logline needs to give us some detail about the main character, so we can get a feel for them.
Finally, “face their abusive mother and expose her lies” is not a cinematic goal. It lacks a definitive ending, so it is hard to visualise what the end of this movie could look like.
Great loglines allow us to visualise in our mind what the film would look and feel like.
I hope this all helps!
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