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When traumatic memories of a past life as a WWII pilot haunt him, an emotionally fractured young man must harness his wild imagination; but when he breaks from his domineering father, he must master self doubt in order to become a whole and grounded person before losing his life to suicide
The protag’s past life is your hook, and I get it’s the catalyst for change, but have you considered exploring your hook via his grandfather? Riff: Grandad (co-pilot) was the lone survivor of the WWII plane crash that killed his best friend (now reincarnated as protag). This is your story. Just offeRead more
The protag’s past life is your hook, and I get it’s the catalyst for change, but have you considered exploring your hook via his grandfather?
Riff: Grandad (co-pilot) was the lone survivor of the WWII plane crash that killed his best friend (now reincarnated as protag).
This is your story. Just offering ways to crank the hook up to eleven 😉
See lessWhen attending a brutal dance audition, a meticulous dancer must break free from conformity, unleashing her authentic individuality to claim the elusive path to success.
Good job Amy! I think all we want to know as readers is how the audition will be brutal. Like physically or mentally? I like that line "unleashing her authentic individuality," it's like showcasing a style of dance within a stylistic story. Well done!
Good job Amy! I think all we want to know as readers is how the audition will be brutal. Like physically or mentally? I like that line “unleashing her authentic individuality,” it’s like showcasing a style of dance within a stylistic story. Well done!
See lessWhen he discovers that his job is killing him, a shy kitchen hand must tell his sleazy boss that he needs to quit.
Revised version: When he discovers that his job is killing him, a cowardly kitchenhand must muster the courage to tell his sleazy boss that he needs to quit.
Revised version:
When he discovers that his job is killing him, a cowardly kitchenhand must muster the courage to tell his sleazy boss that he needs to quit.
See less