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When her daughter is sent to hospital after being attacked, a mother tries to find the assailants regardless of the consequences.
I know it's a short film, but I feel like there could be a little more detail here. It feels a little short for a logline, which is unusual, people are usually struggling to make them shorter! I think descriptive words of the characters would be good, is the mother normally mousy and quiet and thisRead more
I know it’s a short film, but I feel like there could be a little more detail here. It feels a little short for a logline, which is unusual, people are usually struggling to make them shorter!
I think descriptive words of the characters would be good, is the mother normally mousy and quiet and this is a departure for her or is she a badass tough lady? Who attacks the daughter? Drug dealers? A teenage rapist? Gang members? The more angry your audience the more they will be on board with your main character tracking them down.
Again, it’s very clear and I wouldn’t change the structure, I would just add more description.
See lessA former Special Ops Commando thought covert missions in the desert were rough. Then he married a spy who wants him dead.
Who is the lead character? What do they want? What is standing in their way? And on a side note, what is the specific conflict? The marriage or some outside force? (I mean these elements should be added to the logline.)
Who is the lead character?
What do they want?
What is standing in their way?
And on a side note, what is the specific conflict? The marriage or some outside force?
(I mean these elements should be added to the logline.)
See lessWhen a series of unusual deaths occur in an uncharted region of Alaska, an aspiring detective must retain his lawful morality in a hidden barbaric world to seek those responsible.
You don't have to add a detailed description of the story below your logline. If we don't understand your premise based on your logline, your logline is not ready. Your logline has to stand on its own. Now to your logline: I like it! Can visualize the story based on your wording. However, I would trRead more
You don’t have to add a detailed description of the story below your logline. If we don’t understand your premise based on your logline, your logline is not ready.
See lessYour logline has to stand on its own.
Now to your logline:
I like it! Can visualize the story based on your wording. However, I would try to find something better than “unusual”. Sounds too generic for me, because unusual can mean aliens, ghosts or just crazy murderers.