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The door of the gallery opens wide and the young woman without looking around walks straight into the hall towards the man with a gloomy face. It is not expected, but they meet right here, in one of the most important galleries in the world. Who would have thought about it twenty years ago in a small town train station when they saw each other for the last time.
You are describing a scene. But a logline is a one-sentence synopsis of the plot. A logline will most likely have 1: A Lead character 2: An inciting incident 3: A goal 4: And Conflict (something standing in the way of the goal) All in about 25 to 30 words Can there be exceptions, yes Can you occasioRead more
You are describing a scene.
But a logline is a one-sentence synopsis of the plot.
A logline will most likely have
1: A Lead character
2: An inciting incident
3: A goal
4: And Conflict (something standing in the way of the goal)
All in about 25 to 30 words
Can there be exceptions, yes
See lessCan you occasionally break the rules, yes
But for the most part, you are giving the reader enough information to visualize the plot, without giving away the ending.
A drunken night leaves a young man to decipher his feelings for his best friend before their time together runs out.
Most loglines hint at what the inciting incident is and who the enemy is, but this doesn't seem to have that. Unless time is their enemy, but I'm wondering why their time together is running out? Is the best friend going away? Dying? I think that would help. Is there a better descriptor besides younRead more
Most loglines hint at what the inciting incident is and who the enemy is, but this doesn’t seem to have that. Unless time is their enemy, but I’m wondering why their time together is running out? Is the best friend going away? Dying? I think that would help.
See lessIs there a better descriptor besides young man? And for that matter best friend? Is there a sense of irony? Is he wild and she’s tame or vice versa?
It sounds like a fun romance, but besides working out their feelings, is there something else they do on this night? Are they going to White Castle? Kidding, but really, it would help to hint what makes this different from other “it happened one night” stories. And you have room for more detail as this is a very sparse logline.
I hope my comments help.
When his childhood sweetheart turned actress goes through a high profile breakup, an overly responsible pastor heads to Hollywood to be her red carpet date, along the way encountering misfits who remind him what his real first love is.
As a Christian I like the idea of a believer being reminded of Who their real first love is. I also think that the two characters could clash - an actress and a pastor. And a pastor walking the red carpet seems very fish out of water in a way. There is also this promise of a journey which seems to bRead more
As a Christian I like the idea of a believer being reminded of Who their real first love is. I also think that the two characters could clash – an actress and a pastor. And a pastor walking the red carpet seems very fish out of water in a way. There is also this promise of a journey which seems to be what the movie is mostly about. But I feel the main character is weakened by the logline. He is an overly responsible person who is going to help out this ex lover at the drop of a hat. So he is a really nice guy who is possibly very easily manipulated. Also you need some high stakes and a goal. I don’t see a big goal for the main character or what he will win if he meets the goal and the great things he will lose if he doesn’t meet it. Defintely some promising aspects to the ideas which more work could polish up.
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