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  1. Posted: June 20, 2022In: Student Loglines

    When a small teenager who wears an alien mask gets bullied and called a freak, the teenager must learn to hide from society to avoid getting bullied.

    BenGilani Penpusher
    Added an answer on July 1, 2022 at 5:03 pm

    Hi Peter, When a small teenager: I guess you need to provide more info/characteristics about your lead character. Like is your teenager a boy? a girl? a student? who wears an alien mask: Why does he/she wear an alien mask? to achieve something? gets bullied and called a freak: By whom? the society?Read more

    Hi Peter,

    When a small teenager: I guess you need to provide more info/characteristics about your lead character. Like is your teenager a boy? a girl? a student?

    who wears an alien mask: Why does he/she wear an alien mask? to achieve something?

    gets bullied and called a freak: By whom? the society?

    the teenager must learn to hide from society: How must he/she learn to avoid the society to avoid getting bullied.

    I think your story has the potential but you have not shown it in your logline successfully.
    I suggest you write and share a synopsis so we would know what is going on in your story exactly.

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  2. Posted: June 27, 2022In: Student Loglines

    A young boy who has ADD and social awkwardness, meets a coach for a basketball team who decides to train the boy into focusing his disabilities into sport and make him a champion.

    BenGilani Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 6:48 pm

    Hi MichaelV, Who is your lead character? Is it the boy or the coach? I suggest you read the formula once again, introduce some context to your readers by including a short synopsis, and re-write your logline. Then we can assist you to achieve your desired logline. Good Luck Ben

    Hi MichaelV,
    Who is your lead character? Is it the boy or the coach? I suggest you read the formula once again, introduce some context to your readers by including a short synopsis, and re-write your logline. Then we can assist you to achieve your desired logline.
    Good Luck
    Ben

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  3. Posted: June 27, 2022In: Student Loglines

    When her family unexpectedly comes back into her life after years of estrangement, a young woman must confront her past and the people who will never accept her for who she is.

    Sophie Vasic Penpusher
    Added an answer on June 27, 2022 at 2:56 pm

    Really interested to see the story play out between the confrontation between her and her family. Maybe be specific to which family members have come back? But overall really excited to read the story.

    Really interested to see the story play out between the confrontation between her and her family. Maybe be specific to which family members have come back? But overall really excited to read the story.

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