Samurai
Posted: 2015-09-27T07:24:49+10:00 In:

A group of young activists abduct a senior politician and use a psychological mind game to extract a murder confession but he turns the game around, insisting he has proof that one of them is a government agent.

A group of young activists abduct a senior politician and use a psychological mind game to extract a murder confession but he turns the game around, insisting he has proof that one of them is a government agent.
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    4 Reviews

    1. Best Answer
      Uberwriter

      I’d put it in term of action.

      A group of young activists abduct a senior politician and use a psychological mind game to extract a murder confession but he turns the game around, by convince the group their is a traitor in their ranks.

      saying insisting doesn’t show the impact on the group.

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    2. Best Answer
      Samurai

      Thanks, CraigDGriffiths. Exactly what is needed.

      • 0
    3. Best Answer
      Logliner

      Start with the inciting incident:

      “When a group of young activists abduct a senior politician, and … murder confession”

      Then you’ll see that there is a lack of story material for Act 2: all we have here is that “he insists he has proof that one of them is a government agent”.

      In other words, this logline is super heavy towards the setup, but doesn’t promise much after that.

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    4. Best Answer
      Samurai

      Thanks, Karel. Much appreciated.

      “A group of young activists abduct a senior politician and use a psychological mind game to extract a murder confession as part of a clever scheme to extort millions but he turns the game around by convincing them that there’s a traitor in their ranks and the proof is in a security briefcase along with the millions in his safe deposit box”.

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