2ND DRAFT… The idyllic life of an adolescent surfer is upended when his family moves to pre-revolution Tehran, a virtual melting pot of American expats submerged in an alien culture where certain realities are but an illusion.
This isn’t really a logline. It’s simply a setup. Check out the “Our formula” tab for help with formatting.
In future, if you could also just post one version of a logline and allow feedback and then keep revisions within that initial post that would be great. It allows users to follow the evolution of an logline.
Why does it matter that he’s a surfer? What is this character’s goal? It needs to be tied to the inciting incident (in this case, moving to Tehran). What is actually happening to this character? Where is the conflict?