3 siblings set out on an adventure with their father?s friend, a professor, to find out what caused his disappearance and stop the power that could destroy humanity that he was looking for.
LeviathanSamurai
3 siblings set out on an adventure with their father?s friend, a professor, to find out what caused his disappearance and stop the power that could destroy humanity that he was looking for.
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“When dad goes missing, 3 siblings set out with his research colleague to conclude their latest project responsible for his disappearance”
But
When 3 siblings track down their father’s disappearance to his recent research project, they must _______??
Just throwing some of my thoughts out, as I’m still learning to, if I may.
Character: 3 siblings … don’t we want one clear, unique protagonist? Or is it their dad’s friend?
Incident:?Father disappears
Action: Find him
Reversal: discovering the dangerous power
Action2: defeat power … do we know the means?
My guess is that this is for a Wrinkle in Time?
Take it back to the fundamentals. Start with the event:
“When their father is abducted by an inter-dimensional evil …”
Focus on one flawed protagonist to ensure correct POV, even if you include the other characters in the logline, and to imply the character’s arc and internal journey:
“… a reticent middle-schooler and her two siblings…”
Then get clear with the goal. Not knowing what the ultimate goal is (either of your story or, if I am correct in my suspicion, of A Wrinkle In Time), the appropriate action to the event is to ‘get dad back’. But being specific can indicate the tone and genre of the film:
“… travel across space and time to get him back.” (or to bring him home).
“When their father is abducted by an inter-dimensional evil, a reticent middle-schooler and her two siblings travel across space and time to get him back.”
Good advice by Nicholas, and if he’s right, I dare say you should have posted this under ‘Examples’.
Also, take note of the wording suggestions made on the thread – you should never underestimate the importance of clarity in a logline.
I find this far too vague. ?The stakes seem high but what is the hook? ?What kind of professor? ?What kind of power that can destroy humanity? Is it supernatural, is it manmade, is it alien? ?Do you need all 3 siblings? ?Why? ?Can’t it be one child perhaps connecting with the father’s estranged partner for example? ?Why does the Dad’s friend agree to go on this journey? ?Perhaps they are more than friends? ?Estranged colleagues? ?Former lovers? ?I need more specificity and more connective tissue with the characters.