nicolesigaudLogliner Posted: October 6, 20192019-10-06T23:52:40+10:00 2019-10-06T23:52:40+10:00In: Adventure(4th revision)3000 BC: a hybrid child, despised by the world, is adopted by a genie; causing his stepfater’s damnation, he must redeem himself and become the god of the dead, Anubis.– ShareFacebook2 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentScott Danzig 17 Loglines 64 Reviews 6 Best Reviews 1,991 Points View ProfileBest Answer Scott Danzig Samurai 2019-10-07T12:04:55+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2019 at 12:04 pm The word “hybrid” needs to be defined better.? It’s a hybrid half-human, half-genie?? Or half something else?? The genie adopting him caused his stepfather’s damnation?? This business of “becoming the god of the dead? Anubis” seems like such a non-sequitur.? Does he redeem himself by becoming this god of the dead, like old relatives calling you up after you win the lottery?? Maybe something closer to:Shunned for his half-genie lineage, a child must redeem himself in the eyes of his stepfather by becoming Anubis, the god of the dead.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppRichiev 61 Loglines 3,389 Reviews 307 Best Reviews 81,369 Points View ProfileBest Answer Richiev Singularity 2019-10-07T17:12:33+10:00Added an answer on October 7, 2019 at 5:12 pm Scott, I was reading previous versions, and I believe the hybrid is that of, half-wolf, half-human. But it isn’t explained well in this version.Also, not sure how the main character being adopted leads to his stepfather’s damnation, the correlation between the two events isn’t easy to see and also not explained.But I do think the story is interesting. And I think if the logline were as interesting as the story, it would definitely help sell this.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?