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nicolesigaudLogliner
Posted: October 8, 20192019-10-08T03:55:39+10:00 2019-10-08T03:55:39+10:00In: Adventure

(5th revision) A half-wolf child causes a corpse to awake, thus disgracing his genie tutor; his redemption happens by learning about the human soul and becoming Anubis, the god of the dead.

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2019-10-08T16:24:53+10:00Added an answer on October 8, 2019 at 4:24 pm

      Is this set in ancient Egyptian mythology, European stories, or Arabian? There appears to be a mishmash of folk tales and mythology that doesn’t seem to work.

      More to the point, how is causing a corpse to wake an inciting event? This seems rather trivial. Is there a consequence to its waking? Does it hurt someone?

      It’s not clear how a character can redeem themselves simply by learning about the human soul. Learning can be a part of the redemption process, but after learning, he would have to actually do something to redeem himself.

      Lastly, what does learning about the human soul mean?

       

       

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    2. Scott Danzig Samurai
      2019-10-08T23:16:24+10:00Added an answer on October 8, 2019 at 11:16 pm

      You already have “half-wolf child”, and “god of the dead”… I don’t think the genie tutor needs to be mentioned.? I think there is a common thread though.? One must properly respect the dead in order to lead them, and defiling/animating corpses is not a good start.? Can the logline just focus on that?? Do we have to mention “learning about the human soul” explicitly?

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