A bounty hunter who foresees danger just before it happens holds patrons of a sleazy bar hostage in order to trap a killer with mental superpowers from an alternate reality.
I try to answer these questions in a logline (with little success sometimes).
Who is the protagonist? What do they want? What is stopping them? Why is it stopping them? What can they do?
Bounty Hunter, that gives us protagonist and what he wants, tick.
The rest I am unsure about. What are the mental superpowers? When you say Bounty Hunter you get free information passed on. We know what a Bounty Hunter does. Mental Superpowers could be anything.
What is stopping him and what can he do? Plus is the bar important and why?
I mention a valley in one of my loglines to show there are no resources available like in a city. If the bar isn’t important save the words and use them to add more story.
Okay, this is getting interesting. I like the idea that he has psychic radar that can detect impending jeopardy (but not good fortune?) However, I think “mental superpowers” — that can cover a lot of territory; I suggest it needs to be more specific.
Maybe something that makes their psychic powers complementary and contrasting; that is, whatever the protagonist has, the antagonist doesn’t. And vice versa.
It’s a contained thriller: the sleazy bar is the main location and makes a gritty contrast with the mental superpowers on show.
The bounty hunter has the gift of flash precognition so he gets images of danger seconds or minutes into the future.
“A bounty hunter who foresees danger just before it happens (sees images of imminent danger) holds patrons of a sleazy bar hostage in order to trap a fugitive but hunter becomes hunted when a killer able to manipulate time and warp reality also shows up”.
“When he foresees the imminent attack of a inter-dimensional being, a psychic bounty hunter must…”
Now we’re getting to the question? How does holding people hostage trap a powerful being? Without that knowledge it is hard to finish the logline. What is the connection? Trapping a powerful being and holding patrons hostage.
Is one of the patrons special in some way, or connected to the being?
Useful comments. The bounty hunter does not foresee the arrival of the super-powered killer. He only foresees events that threaten his person in the immediate future. He holds the bar patrons hostage to trap a different fugitive.
Complications arise when the fugitive walks into the bar. The bounty hunter moves to apprehend him and simultaneously a hostage tries to eliminate another hostage and the bounty hunter gets hit in the crossfire.
It’s this danger that the bounty hunter foresees that brings him into the previously hidden plot driven by the super-powered killer who’s mission is to merge with his doppelganger – one of the hostages – in order to become unkillable.
“A bounty hunter who depends on flash previews of imminent danger fights to stop a killer able to manipulate time and reality from merging with his doppelganger and becoming unkillable”.
The killer can already manipulate time and space. He’s a fugitive from the alternate universe and needs to merge with his double because two versions of the same person cannot exist in a single universe for more than 24 hours. It’s a matter of survival.
How does the bounty hunter learn about the killer’s plans?
That info is reluctantly passed along by a mob assassin who’s mission is to kill the doppelganger to forestall the merger. She is also one of the hostages in the bar.
So the bounty hunter’s objective goal is to stop the fugitve from merging with his double? If he succeeds in preventing that for 24 hours, he wins?
And is there a stake character? Like a woman? IOW: what is there in this story that would appeal to the 1/2 of the human race that is female? Could the bounty hunter be a female?
[That’s a 2015 New Year’s resolution, btw, to encourage more story lines with female leads. Movie makers are finally wising up, coming to realize that there is money to be made, even franchises, with strong female protagonists.]
The bounty hunter wins and the killer returns to the alternate universe – till next time.
The logline doesn’t really do justice to the story elements which is why I now include a half-page synopsis when I pitch via email.
Agree with you totally about having more women in lead roles in genre movies. The issue of not enough female leads is down to mediocre execs who are quite out of touch with their natural instincts. The assassin in this project is female – think La Femme Nikita – and is the second lead and there are other female characters. And you know, there’s no reason why the bounty hunter could not be female. None of these roles are gender-specific.