A bumptious young decorator inherits her uncle’s rental properties and must contend with city code enforcers while expanding her rental empire and becoming L.A.’s newest Slumlord.
For me, this logline raises an interesting question about framing. Specifically, is there a difference between how a logline would frame the protagonist and how it would frame the objective goal?
A logline frames, that is describes the protagonist, as the audience will see her, not as sees herself. That is, in terms of her character flaw. Which makes sense because the protagonist is initially in denial of her flaw. So it would be perfectly acceptable to define the protagonist in this logline as a slum lord.
However, it seems to me that in a logline the objective goal should be framed in terms of how the protagonist sees the goal, not necessarily as the audience see it. The objective goal should be framed in terms of what the protagonist intentionally seeks.
In most cases, the audience would frame the objective goal in the same way . (Ripley’s objective goal to save Newt from the aliens. That’s the way we, the audience, see it and we’re rooting for her to succeed.) But there are exceptions; an audience may realize the protagonist is pursuing the wrong goal ( which is the case in this logline). Or the protagonist is pursuing the right goal for the wrong reasons.
To summarize, I am inclined to think that a logline should frame the protagonist as the audience sees her, but frame the objective goal as the protagonist sees it.
So the question I have is: does the protagonist see herself as a slum lord and her objective goal is to become intentionally an even more despicable one? Is that what she knowingly, intentionally seeks? Or does she see herself as an ambitious, hard working entrepreneur providing a valuable and necessary product, one who is entitled to enjoy a fat profit margin because of the risks she’s taking and the hassles she has to endure dealing with petty, obstructionist bureaucrats?
Why is she a decorator? When a profession is used to describe a character it should be because it holds a bearing on the story. Sometimes a profession can provide information about the character as certain traits are associated with certain jobs (actors = confident for example). Decorators… I’m not sure what information to take from that.
A slum is a highly populated urban residential area consisting mostly of closely packed, decrepit housing units in a situation of deteriorated or incomplete infrastructure, inhabited primarily by impoverished persons. A slumlord is a landlord of slum property, typically one who charges extortionate rents.
With the above in mind, how involved do city code enforcers get with either slum properties or slumlords?
Seems to be that if you wanted to be a slumlord, the majority of conflict would be through other rival slumlords and/or your tenants.
She’s arrogant and her goal is to profit by making money from impoverished people. How is the audience going to connect with her? I get that it’s a comedy but the audience still has to want her to succeed. What’s her internal goal? What’s her internal arc? Why does she want to become LA’s newest slumlord?
This is a comedy – where’s the comedy coming from?
If you made her someone who lives in the slums to start with and she has aspirations of finding a way out when her uncle dies and suddenly she has a way to do it but in order to do it she has to take advantage of people like her… I think that could be interesting. Not really a comedy though….
Hope this helps.
BTW, I actually had to look up the word ‘bumptious’ (That is usually not a good sign)