A childless woman gets a "wrong number" call from a kidnapper who has her son. She must trying and rescue the child before the kidnappers carry out their threats.

    Wrong number

    Singularity Posted on May 24, 2015 in Public.
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    12 Review(s)

      PS this was that I thinking of expanding on a short I wrote for a friend. . Here is a single POV version for tone and mood. Thanks as always.

      Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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        She’s childless but kidnappers have her son???

        Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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          Hence “wrong number”.

          Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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            Still confusing.

            Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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            How about this, Craig:

            ‘A childless woman gets a “wrong number” call from a kidnapper who claims to have her son, thereby becoming the only person with any chance of rescuing an unknown child before the kidnappers carry out their threats.’

            I like your story idea.

            Default Answered on May 24, 2015.
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              I agree with dpg — as presented the logline is confusing. I do like the concept though, and Lee Brooks’ attempt is pretty good, albeit a bit lengthy (and “Thereby becoming…” feels a bit clumsy…)

              What about:

              “A bereaved mother finds herself as lead negotiator with a deranged kidnapper who believes that she is the mother of the child he has kidnapped when he mistakenly dials her number.”

              best of luck with it.

              Samurai Answered on May 24, 2015.
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                I always have trouble with wording.

                Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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                  What about.

                  Mistaken as the boy’s mother, a woman must try and rescue the boy before the kidnappers carry out their threats.

                  Shorter and to the point. The link to the video in my first comment shows the panic I was hoping to get across.

                  Thanks everyone.

                  Singularity Answered on May 24, 2015.
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                    Better to specify the inciting incident as being done by the antagonist.
                    i.e:
                    After a kidnapper mistakes a woman for being the taken child’s mother she must rescue the boy before the criminal carries out his threat.

                    Hope this helps.

                    Singularity Answered on May 25, 2015.
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                      Tada, that’s the wording. I can create story, my command of the language fails me in the logline arena.

                      Singularity Answered on May 25, 2015.
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                        I would totally watch/read this.

                        Penpusher Answered on May 27, 2015.
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                          There is a link in my first comment that goes to YouTube showing the start of the scene. Veronica did it in two parts. She wanted a rehearsal price, which is how this idea started.

                          Singularity Answered on May 27, 2015.
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