A CSIS agent returns to duty to stop an eco-terrorist leader who’s missing his original face, and his followers who are in possession of the American government’s plans for the next 81 years.
Clarify if this takes place in Canada or the US.
Explaining why he has to return- why can’t another agent work the case?- will help flesh him out. Though is that the extent of the irony? Doesn’t seem like a big deal for an agent to do what he used to do.
What are the stakes, the terrorist’s plan?
Missing his face is a detail for the script, unless it’s clarified in the logline to be more signifcant.
Even with suspension of disbelief, the 81 years part is a turn-off because there’s no sense or relatability to it. Is there something more specific to this that got lost in translation? A plan for a few months from now?
henb, this site is free but we ask that you also return the favour by reviewing 2 loglines for each logline you post. So, please review 4 loglines from other writers before posting any more. I have put your newest 3 loglines on hold until you have contributed your part. Thank you.
While this isn’t bad writing, it is not a successful logline in my opinion. You present our protagonist, and then you present some other aspects of our narrative world, but it lacks a clear plot. A CSIS agent returns to duty (okay, that’s good set-up) to stop an eco-terrorist (alright, there’s his antagonist) who’s missing his original face (what? clearly this needs set-up in your world, since in our known universe people don’t lose their faces, but to avoid over complicating your logline by explaining the scifi nature of this world, maybe just not mention that. Execs will learn it when they read your script, but for now just him being an eco-terrorist is enough), and his followers who are yada yada (this part makes very little sense as well. 81 years? That’s a random length of time. And why does it matter that they have the government’s plans? If you’re adding info, you need to also include why it adds to the antagonism of the plot).
So, An ex-CSIS agent returns to duty to stop an eco-terrorist, that’s all good. I would cut the rest and figure out a way to integrate more succinct but important details to the plot.