A daughter and a father sits at a table. From chewing with her mouth open, to bad table manners to taking drugs right in front of him, the father does not realise anything because he is distracted by his phone.

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    Penpusher Posted on January 23, 2020 in Comedy.
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      Is this a short? If so, you should mention it in the comment section. (If it’s not a short, then you have a problem as this will not hold the audience’s attention for 90 minutes.)

      As this seems like a good subject matter for a short, I’ll assume it is a short. Most shorts are structured like a joke in that they have a setup followed by a punch. (In contrast to a joke, the punch in a short need not be funny, but could be sad or horrifying.) You don’t want to give away the punch. Your logline should be all about the setup. Try this for starters and see where you can take it:

      When her father is too distracted by his iPhone to listen to the story of her science project, a ten year old girl resorts to ever more drastic measures to get his attention.

      Mentor Answered on January 23, 2020.

      Yeah this was meant to be a short haha I’m new to this logline website and needed just an opinion for my short film that I thought of.
      I wasn’t sure how to use it so yeah. But thank you for your opinion appreciate it !

      on January 23, 2020.
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        Not really a logline, more like an explanation, which is two totally different things. You first of all need to give a description of the father, to me he seem like a careless kind of guy if he doesn’t see his child is taking drugs in front of him like how he doesn’t realize it if she taking them in front of him, I don’t understand that bit.

        Penpusher Answered on January 23, 2020.
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