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cynosurerLogliner
Posted: January 11, 20162016-01-11T03:24:21+10:00 2016-01-11T03:24:21+10:00In: Family

A disgraced coach gets a second chance but must teach couch potato kids about baseball and life to win a championship trophy, a trophy wife, and the apple of his eye.

A disgraced coach gets a second chance but must teach couch potato kids about baseball and life to win a championship trophy, a trophy wife, and the apple of his eye.
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    1. RandyG Logliner
      2016-01-14T13:05:07+10:00Added an answer on January 14, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      Aren’t you giving away the ending??? Maybe say “as he pursues” or “in pursuit of” a championship trophy, etc.

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    2. Grumpy Penpusher
      2020-06-28T13:02:03+10:00Added an answer on June 28, 2020 at 1:02 pm

      This feels a little unfocused. Perhaps rearrange it terms of goals and obstacles – A disgraced coach gets a second chance at success and love, but first they must deal with couch potato kid players, stiff competition, etc.

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