A feeble and weak-kneed man must find a way out when he is forced to drive and help a criminal on the run, while being chased by the police who believes him to be an accomplice.

gmffr Logliner Asked on February 11, 2019 in Thriller.
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3 Review(s)

When he’s forced at gunpoint to drive a criminal on the run, a timid uber diver must appease the criminal while trying to find a way to escape, all while being chased by the police who believe he’s an accomplice.” 

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on February 11, 2019.
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I like the premise for this. Kind of a cross between Collateral and an episode of X-Files called Drive (starring Bryan Cranston) where Mulder is taking hostage and forced to drive a guy across the country.

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Inciting incident – See Richiev’s version. Perfectly sums it up.

Protagonist – “feeble and weak-kneed” these are synonyms so pick one or go with something like “timid” as Richiev has done. “man”… this is pretty weak as a character description. You’re reducing the main character to just his gender. If his gender actually holds no bearing on the story then pick something more specific. Tell us who this character is and why that’s important. Richiev’s version, making him an uber driver, makes sense.

Goal – To survive and not be arrested. Makes sense. What happens if he just jumps out of the car though? I feel like I need to understand why the criminal has to do it this way, why can’t he drive himself? If we can understand the criminal’s motives it might make the goal more solid. There can’t be an easy way out for this guy… and we need to understand why it has to be this guy.

Antagonist – This guy is going to be a VERY big part of the story almost to the point of it being a buddy movie. I’d consider adding a characteristic for him so we can understand what the dynamic of this crucial relationship is going to be. Conflict is story. I kinda want him to be innocent… although this might be clichéd.

Hope this helps. Looking forward to seeing where this goes.

mikepedley85 Overlord Reviewed on February 11, 2019.
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How about this:
Over the course of one night, a meek nobody is taken hostage and forced to help a violent, apathetical criminal on a crime spree, while being chased by the police who believes him to be an accomplice.

gmffr Logliner Reviewed on February 15, 2019.
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