A good cop working as a mole to bring down a mobster and a corrupt cop working as a mole for the mobster struggle to unmask each other.

    (28 words)

    The Departed
    (2006)

    Singularity Posted on November 10, 2019 in Crime,   Examples.
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    3 Review(s)

      How about…

      A cop working as a mole to bring down a mobster and a cop working as a mole for the mobster struggle to unmask each other.

      – Aren’t they revealed more by what they’re doing? So you potentially don’t need “good” and “corrupt”.

      (Though they do add colour and help paint the picture.)

      Yours is better though. 

      Just playing around.

      Mentor Answered on November 10, 2019.
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        That’s a good logline for the film. What do you think was the good cop’s biggest flaw?

        Singularity Answered 7 days ago.
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          thedarkhourse:

          My first version was exactly as you suggested.

          However, I believe that a logline should be immediately and entirely clear on the first read. An industry reader should not have to read a logline more than once to  understand what the story is about.  Maybe most readers would immediately understand the story concept with the version you suggested.  But just in case, as an insurance policy, I opted to pad my version with two more words for the sake of clarity.  It is certainly arguable that my padding was superfluous.

          regards

           

          Singularity Answered 6 days ago.
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