A group is held by a madman who is killing them one by one until they identify the traitors securing their freedom.

A group is held by a madman who is killing them one by one until they identify the traitors securing their freedom.

It is a simple contained horror. There is no real main character. As the audience begins to think they know who is the protagonist, I kill that character. Risky, but means it is completely unpredictable.

I need help tightening the logline.

PS you never know why they are selected or who the madman is. Just people in a cage.

CraigDGriffiths Summitry Asked on January 6, 2019 in Horror.
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4 Review(s)

Abducted for a murderous game a group must identify the collaborators in their midst. Guess right they go free, guess wrong that person is killed, refuse to keep guessing everyone dies.

CraigDGriffiths Summitry Reviewed on January 7, 2019.
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Since there is no protagonist, that makes the bad guy the main character.

What does the bad guy want? You say he needs the group to tell him who the traitor is. Traitor to what? Who or what did the traitor betray?

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on January 6, 2019.

Traitors are two people working for him. Stirring up trouble and splintering the group.
The madman is just a voice over, he is little more than an announcer.

Any suggestions for an edit to the logline?

on January 6, 2019.
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This sounds more like an indie-art house concept than a mainstream story. Unless you change it by at least picking a main character and giving him or her a goal, I’m not sure a logline will work for you on this.

Nir Shelter Singularity Reviewed on January 6, 2019.
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It is true that it is easier to tell a story through a single person. This is because we need a POV. But since everyone is getting the same information at the same time, in the same place , it is a shared experience. Therefore the group can be treated as a protagonist.

I see you (collective term) may have tripped up on how the traitors work in the story. They work for the madman. Let me think of a rewrite.

CraigDGriffiths Summitry Reviewed on January 7, 2019.
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