A hairstylist?s session with a walk-in becomes much more when she begins to suspect the customer is the woman who abandoned her as a baby.

Could use an adjective to help define the hairstylist. Is she carefree? Lonely? Popular? Successful? Give us something about her.

Does it matter the customer is a walk-in without an appointment? No. This is extraneous information and has no place in a logline.

Becomes much more…much more what? Or much more THAN what? This is vague and useless. Give us specific and clear story beats.

Nobody begins to do anything. They do it or they don’t. If she suspects something, say that. The fact it’s begun is a given once it’s happening, so don’t use extra words without meaning.

Woman who abandoned her as a baby…lots of words but no impact. Also this is the third mention of the same character using a different word: walk-in, customer, woman. Too many terms for one character in such a short span. Make it simple and clear to whom you’re referring as this antagonistic presence.

This whole logline is missing the emotional context. Remember: a logline should present the protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes. The idea of these things is apparent but there’s no dramatic weight to it. Make it compelling so we’ll want to read more and know what happens. As it is there’s no impact, no intrigue, just a vague notion of an issue.