A man, noted as the young president of America, kills himself off to go undercover to stop who is trying to ruin his plans for rebuilding America when he finds the death of his VP’s death a hard one to execute and even harder to explain.

Samurai Posted on February 3, 2019 in Action.
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3 Review(s)

You might want to re-word this one: very confusing.

Singularity Answered on February 3, 2019.
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“When his Vice President is murdered by those out to stop his plan to rebuild America, The president fakes his death in to secretly investigate who is behind the conspiracy.”

Singularity Answered on February 4, 2019.

The VP is still alive, or at least the way I wrote it.

After intercepting a conspiracy to kill the president, the president fakes his death to investigate the ones trying to kill him to keep him from rebuilding America.

I don’t know. I figure it out.

on February 4, 2019.

You state “The death of his VP” in your logline. This sounds like the inciting incident.

on February 4, 2019.

A person dies.
If you take a life, you murder or kill them.

If you talk about the ‘death of the VP’ it means he is dead.
If you talk about killing the VP it means the lead is attempting to take the VP’s life.

on February 4, 2019.
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A man, noted as the young president of America, kills himself off to go undercover to stop who is trying to ruin his plans for rebuilding America when he finds the death of his VP’s death a hard one to execute and even harder to explain.

1: Is he the president or is he just noted as the president.
2: Does he kill himself? (As your logline says) Or does he fake his death? (And if he does kill himself, how does he go undercover if he is dead?)
3: You talk about the death of the VP but now say the VP is alive. This is confusing.
4: If the death of the VP is not the inciting incident, then what is?

Singularity Answered on February 4, 2019.

Yeah, I did make it confusing. Completely sorry about that. Let me set the record straight now that I have my bearing. Ignore my previous comment. Let me tell you how it goes.

A man, noted as the youngest president. (I feel I can lose that just because it’s irrelevant to the logline itself, but not the script. I wanted to give some detail about this one so you can get an idea of what kind of man you’re dealing with when you read the logline.)

The young president is trying to rebuild America, which obviously some wouldn’t want, hence the conflict.

The VP’s death, yes, he dies, that happens, is the inciting incident or call to action, in which case, the President fakes his death to go undercover to investigate his VP’s death as well as find who does want him to success in his plans to rebuild America. As for how the President fakes his death, that’s in the script.

on February 4, 2019.
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