A man uses self hypnosis to travel back in time by uses a portrait of a pop singer who’s young enough to be his daughter to meet and fall in love with her.
antonio3Penpusher
A man uses self hypnosis to travel back in time by uses a portrait of a pop singer who’s young enough to be his daughter to meet and fall in love with her.
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Check the use of pronouns. On my first read, it sounded like this man wants to travel back in time so he can have sex with his daughter. Pretty sure that’s NOT what you meant…
Check grammar as well. The word “…by…”
Who is this guy? Why does he want to fall in love with this pop star? What are the present circumstances that are driving him to seek out this pop star?
1. He is a fellow musician. 2) He likes her. 3) He looks at the portrait of her.
Leaning towards:
“An obsessed fan of bygone pop star uses self-hypnosis to travel back in time, but…”
You need a complication, finish with “but” with your plot points.