A married man begins dating a woman via lucid dream technology, but things get strange when she starts appearing when he’s awake.
I want to edit for clarity, but on mobile. The text should say “fantasy woman” or “dream woman” to just convey he isn’t supposed to be connected to anyone real via a dream, it is more of a dream manipulation to create a “fantasy person” only he starts to see this fantasy in his reality
I wonder at what point he first notices her in his real life. Potentially, this is just the inciting incident as, as it currently stands, he has no goal yet. What is he going to do about this?
Your edit certainly clarifies a question I had on first reading.
Great title too!
Keep going with this.
An interesting premise that flips the Freud’s concept of “day residue”, whereby people, places and events in waking life provide the raw material for the content of dreams.
Maybe something like:
A faithfully married man’s torrid affair with a mysterious woman in his dreams becomes real when she appears in his waking life.
I suggest ramping up the dramatic tension by making him a deeply religious person, perhaps a minister, in his waking life. But I would ramp up to the state of lucid dreaming. And I see no need for some pseudo-magical techno fix as with mindful practice, lucid dreams can be induced naturally.
I like the concept, but I think it needs tightening.
What do you mean by “things get strange”? What happens after the man sees this woman in real life is going to make the difference between a comedy, a drama, a thriller or an adventure. Even though you put this idea in the “adventure” genre, from the way the logline is written at present, it could be almost any thing else. Give us some hint about what happens when “things get strange”.
The other question I have is whether or not she recognizes him and was having the same dream? If not, you’ve got the basis for a stalker film where things could really get strange, but in a bad way. If she does recognize him and was having the same dream, you’ve got the basis for a romantic comedy.
The logline needs to give the reader some indication of which way the film is headed.