Dbdb4Penpusher Posted: December 1, 20192019-12-01T05:50:49+10:00 2019-12-01T05:50:49+10:00In: SciFiA memory damaged young man wakes impossibly from a long-term coma determined to find himself before it’s too lateA memory damaged young man wakes impossibly from a long-term coma determined to find himself before it’s too late ShareFacebook3 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentdpg 105 Loglines 5,541 Reviews 558 Best Reviews 111,899 Points View Profile dpg Singularity 2019-12-01T09:21:26+10:00Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 9:21 am A logline is a statement of a protagonist’s pursuit of a specific objective goal. An objective goal is concrete; that is, a goal that can be seen, can be visualized on screen.? For example, if a protagonist’s objective goal is to win a race, then the visual that confirms his reaching that goal would be his breaking the tape, crossing the finish life first.? If the goal is to graduate from college, then the visual might be the character receiving her diploma during the graduation ceremony.So what will the visual moment “find himself” look like at the end of the story? What will the audience see?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppNeer Shelter 23 Loglines 2,877 Reviews 260 Best Reviews 55,444 Points View Profile Nir Shelter Singularity 2019-12-01T10:13:49+10:00Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 10:13 am Agreed with DPG – vague goals don’t inform readers.On wording, “…wakes impossibly from…” should be rewritten as ‘against all the odds, wakes from.’Aside from a vague goal and wording issues, the motivating event isn’t clear. What forced him to take action? Was it being comatose in the first place, waking up, or something else?????0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppNinann22 6 Loglines 6 Reviews 0 Best Reviews 261 Points View Profile Ninann22 Logliner 2019-12-01T16:17:03+10:00Added an answer on December 1, 2019 at 4:17 pm I agree. It?s missing a hurdle or at at stakes to push the protagonist and the story forward.This helps me brainstorm more when doing my loglines. 1. Identify the protagonist 2. Inciting incident. What blows the characters life apart? 3. Protagonist goal. 4. Central conflict. What obstacles that get in the way of your character. A antagonist or antagonistic forces.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?