A murdered ex-con is resurrected and blessed with the power to heal. He must learn to be a saint when others would rather him be a sinner.
bryanccPenpusher
A murdered ex-con is resurrected and blessed with the power to heal. He must learn to be a saint when others would rather him be a sinner.
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Why must he learn to be a saint? Why should he want to be a saint? Instead of getting punished for being a sinner, he got a sweet deal, a resurrection and — bonus points! — a superpower. What’s his motivation now? And what are the stakes? What happens if he reverts instead of converts?
I can fill in some blanks as a reader. His healing is meant to teach him a new way. This would set him on the right path, etc.
The only bit I have issue with is “the others”.
A villain/antagonist must have their own logic otherwise it is just a cartoon villain. Why do they want to see him fail. This may give you room to bring in the overall theme.
Thanks for the feedback, here is a rewrite of the logline.
A murdered ex con is resurrected and blessed with the power to heal. He must now become a righteous man but his former criminal colleagues wish to drag him back into his old ways.
As dpg points out, what art the stakes?
I think the original logline is pretty good – I agree that I want to hear who the “other” are.
My go at it:
“A murdered ex-con is resurrected and blessed with the power to heal. He must learn to be a saint; his old gang is determined to keep him be a sinner.”
“Old gang” is very specific.
“Keep him a sinner” implies that he was indeed a bad guy when he was murdered. I think his arc is more dramatic if that was the case.