Irreverent: A small-town Catholic priest kidnaps atheist writer David Ellington with a plan to convert him into a believer: Chained naked to a bed in a small dark room beneath the church, David struggles to free himself from the mad priest’s agonizing tortures while his ex-lover detective searches for him. Together with David’s televangelist father and socialite mother, Lita, David’s best friend, Audra, helps the detective retrace David’s last steps before he went missing. With time running out before David succumbs to the priest’s psychopathic treatment, both David and the priest must reexamine their beliefs and decide whether either is worth dying for.
JTDallasPenpusher
A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him until he believes in God or one of them dies in the process.
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Not sure if I’d want to watch this, but it reminds me of a scene in Severance, where one character is mentally tortured until she says something in a way that sounds like she believes it.
This reads like a version of Misery, with a psycho priest.
“Both David and the priest must reexamine their beliefs” doesn’t seem plausible, because a psycho is unlikely to be cured, and David is not going to become a believer from the experience.
Finally, your logline confirms to me that the formula we advocate on this website is effective, because it suggests to write the logline from the Main Character’s POV.
Can you give it a shot, and write this logline from the POV of David? “When an atheist writer is kidnapped and tortured…”
This recommended approach also stresses the need for an Action by David. The way you have written it, David is a passive character in the version of the story I imagine.
This review has really helped me as I write the third act. Possibly, it’s caused some writer’s block too, but I always work it out. It has helped me to determine, re-determine, my protagonist’s role. I usually write dozens of versions of the logline and probably shouldn’t have posted the first one out of the gate. However, had I not, I may not have received this excellent review. Thanks.
“When he’s kidnaped by a Catholic priest, an atheist writer must discover a way to escape all while the crazed father attempts to torture him into believing in God.”
I like it. I’m playing with it and will add it to my list of loglines I am considering.
Thanks so much!
After reading the other side of the story, the search by the writter relatives to me the moive is there and not in the priest vs writter confict. Something like: A detective must contact his ex-lover relatives to find him after he dissapears in strange circustances. Much more cinematic, 3 act sctruture easy to build and big plot twist in the climax when the priest appers and we know why he is being missing, but way more standard movie I know.
It really depends on who the lead character is.
The logline, as written makes it seem like the crazed priest is the lead character
That seems weird so both Karel and I suggested the logline be written from the person who is kidnapped
However, your suggestion that the ex-lover/detective be the lead character and the priest/victim dynamic should be the ‘B’ story seems interesting as well.
As per the theory the main character is the one that changes the most during the story, it depends on the theme and the point of view you want to include in the script but it may seem that the ex-lover is the one that will learn the most and may be also change the most during the story.
With the info we have in the logline is not clear which learning will be done by the writter.
Keep working on it! in my feeling the story has something good, there’s a gem in the world you are building.
I don’t agree that the lead character is the one who changes the most.
(If you are writing a story, good writing advice is, the lead character should change the most, and you should use that advice when plotting both your internal and external story.)
I believe the lead character is the one who opposes the antagonist in the central conflict of the story.
The crazed priest’s goal in this story is to convert the atheist. The kidnapping is just a means to an end. Therefore the central conflict is the battle of wills between the crazed priest and the atheist writer, which would make the lead character the atheist writer.
But obviously, that is just an opinion since I don’t actually know the full story.
Anyway, you have some great insights, and in the end, you may be right about who is the lead character.
It’s happening. These reviews (all of them helpful) will keep me honest in my approach to the climax.
Thanks so much!
Thank you.
The third act is being a pain. I see it in several ways. Now, I’m back to outlining the third act. One of my main concerns is the level of brutality the priest engages in as he drives his plan forward. However, the priest is ultimately concerned with his own doubt and not that of his captive. Thanks again!
A priest kidnaps an atheist writer and tortures him in an attempt to make him believe in god.
the last little bit feels like a bridge to far. This is enough of a story for me. Adding the extra muddies the line. Is it about a fight to the death type thriller, or is it an exploration of people going to extremes and losing sight of reality.
“Is it about a fight to the death type thriller, or is it an exploration of people going to extremes and losing sight of reality?”
My answer: yes. You hit the nail on the head. There are some existential points, mainly in the throughline, but your review and the logline suggestion are both concise and, at this point, accurate. I’m completing the third act as we write.
Thanks so much!
Your story can (and should) have heaps of twists and turns. But a logline should give a clear pitch of the story.
People assume Logline X 100 complex things equals movie.
So logline confused by too much X 100 equal confusing train wreck of a film.
I was listen to a logline competition on a podcast and the winner was “A man clones his wife so he can fall in love with her again”.
You know there is going to be twists and turns, but that is the story at its core.