A smooth talking, but psychologically damaged, criminal with face-blindness rips off a dangerous drug-lord with help from his tough-guy brother. When they are betrayed by their psychopathic accomplice, he must overcome his psychological challenges and track the psychopath through the underground world of experimental hallucinogenic psycho-therapy in order to retrieve the drugs and prevent his brother being murdered.
It’s an interesting character weakness (as distinct from a character flaw which is usually defined in terms of a moral failing or emotional wound); it’s so unusual that I suggest the entire plot should focus and pivot on it. Just as in “Memento”, the plot focuses on and pivots on the protagonist’s loss of long-term memory storage.
But, as Knightrider suggested, I am not sure it does in this logline. The concept is too cluttered. It’s going to be challenging enough for a logline reader to swallow and digest the notion of face-blindness. Don’t try to cram other things down our throat. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Less is more.
For instance, in light of his cognitive impairment, the inciting incident could be he witnesses the death of his beloved brother at the hands of a villain — but he can’t identify the murderer’s face in a line up. His objective goal is to ID the murderer in spite of his cognitive impairment and bring him to justice.
You’ve included a LOT of information here that probably can be whittled away. Keep your logline focussed; event, action, flawed character, antagonist, stakes (and if pertinent, deadline and irony).
“When a drug lord holds his brother to ransom over a botched hand-off, a callous face-blind crook must track down his psychopathic ex-accomplice and return the money he has absconded with.”
– It is unclear how the ‘psycho-therapy’ portion, though drug-related, is the world through which the protagonist must journey to catch the guy who has ripped him off?
– Wouldn’t it work better if the protagonist doesn’t already know the guy who has ripped him off? Even with face-blindness … wouldn’t he have ways to identify people he actually knows?
I would try to shorten this logline. I’ll give it a shot. See what you feel!