A superhuman woman, that is expected to be a savior of the futuristic world with no energy, needs to be saved by a looser fanboy- though not from danger outside, but rather from her self. Note: This is actually meant for comics(manga) script. Target audience is Y/A. Genre is sci-fi action/drama.

    Power Core

    Default Posted on May 10, 2015 in Public.
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      While this is written with the Superhuman woman as the lead character, It seems to me the fanboy loser would make for a better lead character.

      Singularity Answered on May 10, 2015.
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        Agreed with Richiev.

        But regarding the plot at hand the MC needs a flaw as the logline focuses on her inner journey more.
        This is a good thing as super hero movies are hard to pitch outside of the DC and Marvel worlds with built in fan bases. Therefore the MC’s inner journey is more important in this instance only it isn’t defined.

        Also the logline needs to specify a starting point for the story. What is the inciting incident? What happens to her that makes her need to save and be saved?

        Once the inciting incident and her flaw are defined you can establish a clearer goal than save the world as that is a vague action to take and goals benefit from specificity.

        Hope this helps.

        Singularity Answered on May 10, 2015.
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          Hello! Well in the original outline of the story he was the lead character, but it did not worked for me, since his growth arc, which is mostly external, felt less important then hers- which is internal.
          Also, I thought that the flaw of the heroin is that “she is expected to be hero”, but she is not yet. And all eyes of the world are on her. For inciting incident- that will need some work to put in the logline, since its not that easy to describe it shortly and effectively, probably will even rewrite this part of outline to make it work- and make it clearer!
          I will try reassemble and post again.
          Thank you guys for help!

          Default Answered on May 10, 2015.
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            Does she want to be a superhero?

            Why do others expect her to be a superhero? IOW: What is so super about her?

            BTW: a superhero’s flaw/weakness doesn’t have to be psychological. The intuitive genius of the Superman franchise is that he was given a physical vulnerability — to kryptonite — which saps him of his super abilities.

            Singularity Answered on May 10, 2015.
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              Hi!
              It was not her choice to become what she is, and now she sees it as obligation.
              Her super-strength is that she is capable of being a source of energy(among others).
              I’m not sure how to fit all this into logline, or if it is necessary.
              As for physical vulnerability, she does not have one really, since physically she is more something like Captain America than Superman, so i don’t think it is needed. Might be wrong though.
              Anyway, thanx for response!
              (hopefully i do not spam too much)

              Default Answered on May 10, 2015.
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                What do you mean by “looser”? Is he “looser” as in ‘loose in the head’ or “looser” as in laid back chill?

                Penpusher Answered on May 11, 2015.
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                  “…the flaw of the heroin is that she is expected to be hero”, but she is not yet.” – Which means her flaw is denying her responsibilities I think this is a good flaw run with that but describe it in an efficient and poignant way.

                  “For inciting incident- that will need some work to put in the logline, since its not that easy to describe it shortly and effectively,” – This is indicative of a problematic inciting incident. Best to devise an absolutely clear and easy to understand inciting incident for the plot to make the MC need to achieve the external goal.

                  Singularity Answered on May 12, 2015.
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