A teenage vigilante with a warped view of reality and superheroes must save his hometown in the aftermath of a disastrous earthquake and the arrival of a dangerous pyromaniac.

    The Incredible Kid Richter

    Default Posted on January 3, 2015 in Public.
    Add Comment
    3 Review(s)

      “When a pyromaniac uses the chaos in the aftermath of an earthquake, to burn his town, a teenage vigilante who believe he’s a super hero vows to defeat the villain he believes to be his arch nemesis.”

      Singularity Answered on January 4, 2015.
      Add Comment

        Try reversing the order of the story elements in the logline. What I mean is the arrival of the pyromaniac is the inciting incident (I think) and accordingly the earthquake seams unrelated as it occurred before the story started.

        For example:
        After the arrival of a dangerous pyromaniac to a small town a main character must do something in order to save someone…

        Also if the MC is “A teenage vigilante with a warped view of reality…” I think he or she would make a difficult MC for the audience to care about and want watch achieve a goal. Not forgetting that these is a long description and a vague one at that, what does a warped view of reality mean? Warped in what way?

        Perhaps describe the MC differently, what quality does he or she possess that will make their journey harder and more significant for them to go on? Then use this as the basis to structure the MC description.

        “…and superheores…” not sure how superheroes fit in to the frame work of the premise. If this is a super hero story then perhaps describe the MC in a way that reflects this other wise this is just an added on element that doesn’t seam directly related.

        Hope this helps.

        Singularity Answered on January 5, 2015.
        Add Comment


          Default Answered on January 6, 2015.
          Add Comment

          Your Review

          By posting your review, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.