agyeiwaa Posted: September 23, 20132013-09-23T08:26:09+10:00 2013-09-23T08:26:09+10:00In: ExamplesA troubled High School guy sees the preacher's mousey daughter in a new light when an accident brings them together but, is it too late for their love?A Walk to Remember ShareFacebook2 ReviewsVotedOldestRecent Anonymous 2013-10-16T09:27:43+10:00Added an answer on October 16, 2013 at 9:27 am The logline doesn’t give us anything new or exciting. It is very generic.“High School guy” – is this a high school student? And how/why is he troubled? Give us more detail.What is the accident? If this is an event worthy of a movie, it is worthy of a logline. If it is not, you need to rethink it because it is a critical element of the story.Why would it be ‘too late’? Without giving us more, this is confusing.In the 2nd act of this story, who will be chasing who? And what is/are the obstacle(s)?Good luck rewriting!0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppKarel Segers 38 Loglines 212 Reviews 7 Best Reviews 612 Points View Profile Karel Segers Logliner 2013-10-16T09:37:55+10:00Added an answer on October 16, 2013 at 9:37 am “high school guy”: you mean a student?“troubled”: in what way? Give us more detail so we can visualise, imagine him.What exactly happens? “an accident” is too vague and uninteresting. If this inciting incident is worthy of being in the movie, it is worthy of being in the logline…“Is it too late for their love”: Why would it be too late? Without the reader knowing, this question is confusing.This is clearly a love story. But who is chasing whom? Be clear about who is the main character and what obstacles there are in the way of the two ending up together.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to can add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?