A very old and dying president, A secret services chief and the commander chief of the military of a dictatorship gathered in secrecy to discuss the future of the country and the matters of power succesion. They will come to realize that schemes and plots are at play and they don’t share the same vision of how a governement should be
It reads like you’re still working through an idea here… there is a potential clash of objectives but as Richiev has asked, who are we following? Why? What for? It’s hard to comment on it as it stands as we can guess there’s conflict in the meeting, but that’s about it. My thoughts are:
- ‘A dying president’ – drop the ‘very old’…
- It reads as though they are all in a dictatorship? If so, wouldn’t the president simply ‘dictate’ what will happen, end of story?
- Choose who we are following – who has the most to lose/gain? Who would change the most by the end of the story?
- Give us what they are worried about/what they find out using the meeting – what are the plots and schemes? Better still, maybe pick one? Is there a specific person scheming against them that could be your antagonist? Or are they going to fight each other?
In all time, but especially times like these, there will be a massive appetite for seeing behind the curtains of dictatorships around the world. I think you are looking at a really interesting area – we just need to know why. Giving us the outline of your story will help people comment further.