Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign in, or sign up to post a logline, as only logged in users can see all.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • START HERE
  • Formula
  • Examples
  • Contact
  • News
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • START HERE
  • Formula
  • Examples
  • Contact
  • News
KnightriderMentor
Posted: October 18, 20152015-10-18T17:02:08+10:00 2015-10-18T17:02:08+10:00In: SciFi

In the aftermath of nuclear war, a bleak NASA scientist builds and enters a virtual recreation of the past to find a way to save civilisation, only for the system?s AI to determine humanity is beyond saving and attempts to kill her.

In the aftermath of nuclear war, a bleak NASA scientist builds and enters a virtual recreation of the past to find a way to save civilisation, only for the system?s AI to determine humanity is beyond saving and attempts to kill her.
  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 1,297 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. Best Answer
      CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2015-10-19T14:19:10+10:00Added an answer on October 19, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      It is just a little wordy and there are words not working for me. Begrudgingly isn’t the right word for me and I am unsure it is needed. What about:

      After visions of an apocalypse a woman starts assassinating the people that will cause it when her son from the future comes back to kill her and bring about the end of the world.

      Still too wordy, but more action focused.

      Hope it helps.

      • 0
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. Best Answer
      dpg Singularity
      2015-10-21T11:56:00+10:00Added an answer on October 21, 2015 at 11:56 am

      Since the AI has declared man’s future to be hopeless, why wouldn’t they want to stop it?? What’s the point of continuing to run the program? And why can’t the simulation be controlled externally?? Why the need to insert humanoids, virtually, into the simulation?

      • 0
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. Best Answer
      FFF Mentor
      2015-10-21T18:47:09+10:00Added an answer on October 21, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      Hello,
      there are interesting ideas in this concept,
      besides as a logline is not very readable (for me): ?the sentence is too long.
      Can’t you define a clear main character, a clear goal and opponent ?

      In a virtual world created to prevent the end of the real world, a bleak scientist must fight a crazy AI to save the experiment, and the world.

      • 0
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Best Answer
      Knightrider Mentor
      2015-10-22T07:23:00+10:00Added an answer on October 22, 2015 at 7:23 am

      Changed the logline so not as wordy, a problem I tend to have with a lot of my loglines, so it hopefully reads a lot better

      • 0
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 7,497
    • Reviews 31,654
    • Best Reviews 618
    • Users 3,821

    Explore

    • Recent Loglines
    • Most Visited
    • Review Needed
    • Random Pick
    • Followed Loglines
    • Active Logliners
    • Recent News

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.