A young woman from Greenland decides to try her hand at professional wrestling. However, she has to deal with another problem. Once she completes training, she always loses her matches.
assafPenpusher
A young woman from Greenland decides to try her hand at professional wrestling. However, she has to deal with another problem. Once she completes training, she always loses her matches.
Share
The details described in this logline are unclear. There are many young women in Greenland, therefore the main character description is generic and doesn’t describe a unique and interesting character.
If the main character wakes up one day and decides to take the main action in act two of the script, it wasn’t really a challenge for her. As a result the stakes are low and making the decision to achieve the main goal of the story becomes mundane.
Can you give her an event that makes her need to become a professional wrestler instead of a random un motivated choice?
The second sentence is entirely redundant, as it literally describes the function of an obstacle. Best to describe a good and clear obstacle, and let the reader understand that it will not be easy for the main character to achieve her goal. The last sentence attempts to describe an obstacle, but whether due to grammar mistakes or a lack of detail it’s vague.
Lastly the primary function of a logline is to describe a plot, and for a plot to exist the most important story element is a goal, this logline lacks a goal and as a result fails to describe a plot.
Perhaps best to specify that the main character wants to win gold at the Olympics or become the national champion?