IvyEight6Penpusher Asked: May 26, 20212021-05-26T10:15:04+10:00 2021-05-26T10:15:04+10:00In: ComedyA young woman’s life turn upside down when she joins a secret agency to fend off her bullies.Project Butterfly ShareFacebook4 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentMitchW 8 Loglines 15 Reviews 5 Best Reviews 278 Points View Profile MitchW Logliner 2021-05-26T18:40:11+10:00Added an answer on May 26, 2021 at 6:40 pm The event could be that she begins being bullied and that’s what pushes her to a secret agency. But I’m not so sure how you’ll be able to connect those two things. If it’s a secret agency how does she know about it. And why would bullies cause her to somehow find the agency?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppMitchW 8 Loglines 15 Reviews 5 Best Reviews 278 Points View Profile MitchW Logliner 2021-05-26T18:37:27+10:00Added an answer on May 26, 2021 at 6:37 pm It doesn’t look like there is an event that causes her to take this path. Loglines need three elements an Event (Inciting Incident), a character that that event happens to, and the the action the character takes as a result of the event. At the moment you only have a character and an action. The bullies may have been bullying her for years. What happened to her that has forced her to join the secret Agency? What was it that turned her life upside down?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppIvyEight6 69 Loglines 90 Reviews 1 Best Answer 41 Points View Profile IvyEight6 Penpusher 2021-05-27T02:26:32+10:00Replied to answer on May 27, 2021 at 2:26 am 1) She was arrested for possessing weed. 2) She lost her sister from cancer.0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppMitchW 8 Loglines 15 Reviews 5 Best Reviews 278 Points View Profile MitchW Logliner 2021-05-28T00:05:10+10:00Replied to answer on May 28, 2021 at 12:05 am I’m still not seeing a clear connection between all your elements. What is the inciting incident for your story? Why would a secret agency arrest a random girl for weed? Why would they let a random girl join said secret organisation? And what does that have to do with her being bullied? I’m struggling to think of a way to put all of these elements into a cohesive logline which IMHO means something is missing0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?