After a scientist’s time machine malfunctions he’s accidentally sent to The Garden of Eden where he royally screws up God’s plan and hilariously upends the course of human civilization.
On a side note, you’ve posted 14 loglines in a week most of which share similar problems and have received almost the same feedback.
We each learn and develop in different ways, and I certainly hope your posts are paying off for you, however, I can’t see how this strategy can really help anyone. For your own sake, I suggest you take stock of the notes you’ve already been given and learn from them, otherwise what’s the point really?
In addition, the logic behind your posts as a benefit to your concepts is lost on me. With so many loglines out there, it’s clear you’re not taking any one particular concept seriously enough to be able to push it further. Perhaps slow down and chose your top three concepts, which you want to develop more than the others, and focus on them?
Just a few friendly suggestions.
The concept sounds really fun. I don’t think it’s necessarily formulaic.
But the same could be said about THE BRAND NEW TESTAMENT. That movie has one of the funniest trailers I saw last year. I went to see it, and it was abysmal, for the exact reason Nir points out: “Without a specific goal there is no plot, and without a plot there is no story.”
So your challenge, FMA, is to go beyond the bait of the premise, and deliver on the promise of a strong second act.
Nir, I would suggest that he is not reading the feedback and therefore is just spamming us. You and I disagree on a regular basis. We know this because we repost and discuss. I have even asked him to correct me when I accused him of spam.
He didn’t even respond to that. I just refusing to comment on the work. It doesn’t even strike me as original. It’s formulaic and pointless.