After 10 years of trying to cure her condition that sends her to a different parallel universe every time she falls asleep, a obsessive girl finds herself returning to an alternate Earth for the first time and must work with an alternate version of her scientist father to discover the secret to controlling her ability in order to return home.


    Mentor Posted on January 29, 2019 in SciFi.
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    3 Review(s)

      You can drop the ‘lab rat’ part of the logline. Finding her father before she falls asleep is a strong enough premise for the logline.

      Singularity Answered on January 29, 2019.

      I actually added that due to the above comment about adding difficulty to the task.

      on January 29, 2019.

      Perhaps you could include what the source of conflict is in finding her father? Who is the antagonist? Who is running the military (in this film) and making it difficult for her to get access to her father?

      To me, if the deadline is until she falls asleep, and the goal is for her to find her father, I as a reader want to know why that is a difficult thing to do. (It’s easy for me to find my father before I sleep … he’s at work or at home). I do think that needs to be in the logline somehow.

      “After she arrives in a parallel universe where her genius father is still alive, an obsessive orphan cursed to slide through the multiverse has only until she falls asleep to rescue him from a military prison & convince him to help her return to her own reality permanently.” ??

      on January 30, 2019.
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        What is making it difficult to find her father? Is there a way to make it seem like her goal is going to be very difficult to attain?

        Is her time in each universe actually dependent on her sleeping, or is there a time that she teleports – like midnight?

        I like this idea very much – very best of luck bringing this to the screen.

        Samurai Answered on January 29, 2019.

        Hi, thanks another quick reply.

        Na, I want her to travel any time she loses consciousness, hence why it is mostly sleep. At first when it started happening, she’d fight to stay in one place, but as you can’t stay awake forever she travelled, becoming apathetic as she was never in a place to really establish a home. I actually feel the theme is about home, and home being not where you’re from, but it is where you feel in your heart you belong.

        She needs to realise that to remain fixed in one place. I will have it she does get the cure, but she’ll leave “our” universe to live on the only other universe she felt a connection too.

        As for her father, she will remember him as the man who made her this way, she’ll remember how he’d do experiments with military, government agencies all interested. It will turn out that he was using their money, not to find out or create her problem, but to cure it.

        Now when she returns, he is broken and lost his way as well, but still a scientist for the military, which is why it will be difficult, they want her and if she grabs him they’ll hunt them both.

        on January 29, 2019.
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          Apathetic? I’m not sure this is the best word to describe a protagonist. This suggests she shows or feels no interest – so why does she care about getting home? I appreciate what you said about home being where you belong, but I think there might be a better word than apathetic.

          It makes me think of Quantum Leap a lot. He was always searching to get back home and never gave up hope. I think the same needs to be said for her. Currently all the events that have happened to her make her a passive protagonist, she hasn’t had a lot of choice. If you make it so she’s always fought to find her way home, always been proactive, then I think the audience will feel more when she finally does get back home.

          I kinda don’t want her to get home until the act II climax. So we see how she’s actively trying to get home and it makes the moment she does that much more powerful. I think it’d be really cool for act I to be her ending up in the first parallel world, act II rejoins her 10 years later, but she’s got like a big book full of clues and information that she’s accumulated, and although she’s weary she’s never stopped fighting and that’s when she finally connects the dots that leads her to something (a macguffin) that enables her to get home at last.

          Think it’s a really interesting idea! Looking forward to seeing where it goes.

          Summitry Answered on January 29, 2019.
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