After 13 months of no contact from the Alien ship that appeared in Earth’s Orbit, five New York State citizens find their lives inexplicably intertwined as they and the rest of the world adjust to a new reality.

    Penpusher Posted on February 13, 2019 in Drama.
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    3 Review(s)

      Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar to learn about loglines.

      To get you started; you need to specify a main character, a primary goal and an inciting event.

      Singularity Answered on February 13, 2019.
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        13 months of nothing does not sound very compelling.

        Singularity Answered on February 13, 2019.
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          Agree with Nir and Richiev. Currently there isn’t really anything going on.

          The appearance of an alien ship is a good inciting incident but 13 months with no contact… what is going to keep the audience entertained? The story starts when the aliens make contact… surely?! Otherwise what’s their purpose, why are they in the story at all? Without more information it’s difficult to know what’s in your head but I’m assuming (and hoping) the aliens have something to do with these 5 people. If this is the case, give us a clue as to why. If these 5 start seeing visions and sculpting with mash potato (Close Encounters of the Third Kind), or having visions (Arrival), then the reader needs to know. There MUST be a connection. Otherwise, what’s the point in having aliens appear in the story at all.

          As Nir said, you need a protagonist. The story can follow multiple characters but there needs to be one central protagonist who acts as the emotional conduit for the audience. Most ensemble films still pick one of the group who is more central than the rest – Danny Ocean in Ocean’s 11 (clue’s in the title), Mikey in The Goonies, Gordie in Stand By Me. Write the logline from this character’s perspective.

          There needs to be a goal. Something that the character(s) is working towards. If the arrival of the aliens is the inciting incident then the goal must relate to this. Think of the I.I. as a question and the goal is the protagonist’s chosen answer. What do you do when a shark kills a tourist on your beach? You try to kill the shark.

          I love alternative, more human takes on the SciFi genre (you’ve put this in drama??) like Arrival and Her so I’m intrigued to see what happens next with this logline.

          Hope this helps.

          Overlord Answered on February 13, 2019.

          Yeah, it starts 13 months after.
          It’s a drama about humanity reacting to this event. Maybe something more like this ….

          When an Alien ship appears in Earth’s orbit, a Senator struggles to quell the ensuing panic. 13 months later, with no contact from the ship, the Senator and four other citizens find themselves inexplicably linked.

          on February 13, 2019.

          I think you need to specify that them being linked together has something to do with the alien craft (assuming it does). It’s just a bit vague at the moment – how are they linked? How do they discover they’re linked? ┬áThis revision still has no goal – what are they trying to achieve once they discover they’re linked?

          on February 14, 2019.
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