After a fluke undercover drug bust saves their jobs, repairs the department’s damaged reputation and turns them into unlikely heroes, two sleazy and morally bankrupt city cops are targeted by the dangerous drug syndicate they accidentally swindled.

philasify Penpusher Asked on February 13, 2018 in Comedy.
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4 Review(s)

After swindling a drug lord two cops become celebrated heroes. They must go it alone when the drug lord comes for revenge to keep their corruption hidden.

CraigDGriffiths Summitry Reviewed on February 13, 2018.

Thanks for your redo!  I do want to still include the word “accidental” since it is essential to the story and adds comedic value. Also I want to keep the descriptors of them just really being lowlives cut from the same cloth of the gang from “Always Sunny”. The “they must go it alone” really helps because that’s exactly what happens.”=

on February 13, 2018.

I like those types of movies but sounds familiar.  If well written I would watch it.  Yes, accidental does  help reflect the comedic  aspect.  So does unlikely heroes. Your added description helped me envision it more.

on February 14, 2018.
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Craig’s version is a streamlined improvement, but we are still at a point where there is a weak goal — keep the corruption hidden. That could go one forever. I suggest you think about the workable goal that will have an obvious outcome, rather success or failure.

Foxtrot25 Summitry Reviewed on February 13, 2018.

The goal in the story at that point is survival with the hiding corruption being a much lower secondary goal.  I might make the second portion “…

two sleazy and morally bankrupt city cops must desperately avert certain doom when targeted by the dangerous drug syndicate they accidentally swindled.

But thanks for the feedback.

on February 13, 2018.
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Surviving is a goal, sure. It’s a reactionary goal. You want a proactive goal as well.

In T2, sure, they had to survive the liquid terminator, but destroying the future tech before it became skynet was the real goal.

That’s what you need.

Foxtrot25 Summitry Reviewed on February 13, 2018.

I see. Well I would assume the proactive goal aside from surviving the drug lord hit that’s been placed on them would be to preserve their jobs and keep the department open. The department has such a terrible reputation, bad publicity, protests and marches against the department condemning the corruption, racism and profiling that the city council agrees to put the fate of the police department to a vote. Essentially it’s a vote to shutdown the department (an adjacent city would take over policing duties for the city temporarily until local govt pushes for a total overhaul).

The accidental drug bust in the logline basically bought the police department some time when before the writing was on the wall that they’d be disintegrated. It was a total fluke but then after the good press they received, the two make a BS vow to take down the entire syndicate and wipe them from the streets entirely. A claim they have no true intention to carry out and were just blowing hot air for the camera.

Our two anti-heroes really just want to keep the department open so they can keep their jobs and abuse their power and get away with being POS cops. They don’t want normal citizen life if the department shuts down. So essentially their goals are keep their jobs, get away with their lie, somehow live up to their bold claim to pull off this syndicate take down that’s put their lives in danger.

They bit off more than they could chew and now have to deal with the repercussions.

on February 13, 2018.
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>>>targeted by the dangerous drug syndicate they accidentally swindled.

The logline unintentionally but  nonetheless essentially frames the (head of) the drug syndicate as the protagonist because it gives him an overarching objective goal in response to the inciting incident of the cop caper while giving no overarching objective goal to the cops.

If the cops are the protagonists, then the logline needs to frame a plot  in terms of their objective goal  — not that of the syndicate.

dpg Singularity Reviewed on February 13, 2018.
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