Neer ShelterSingularity Asked: February 20, 20202020-02-20T07:27:21+10:00 2020-02-20T07:27:21+10:00In: CrimeAfter a machete wielding gang murder his partner, a vengeful drug mule hides with a geriatric cripple in his station wagon, to chase and kill the psychotic crew.– ShareFacebook2 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentTrix 4 Loglines 67 Reviews 12 Best Reviews 2,991 Points View Profile Trix Samurai 2020-02-20T20:20:16+10:00Added an answer on February 20, 2020 at 8:20 pm Hi Nir,I’m guessing that there would be some comedic elements to the story – dark humour? ?The geriatric cripple definitely make me smile! ?(not sure what that says about me!!!) My thoughts are:Do you need “After a machete wielding gang murder his partner” – would “When a gang murder his partner” suffice?I’m not sure of the connection of the drug mule to the geriatric cripple with a station wagon? ? It seems like a random pairing.“Vengeful” – is this needed as you already infer revenge in his actions? ?Could you describe him another way?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppFreeWill 5 Loglines 13 Reviews 4 Best Reviews 346 Points View Profile FreeWill Logliner 2020-02-22T22:33:26+10:00Added an answer on February 22, 2020 at 10:33 pm This logline works pretty well, although I agree it could be shorter.? However,? the problem that comes through in the character of the mule. His only characteristic is that he is vengeful – which happens during the story. Who is he before this? Also, is a simple drug mule really going to become an enforcer? If he was a violent character, wouldn’t he normally have ended up in some other role than mule? Has he snapped, or have they mistakenly messed with the wrong guy?0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?