After abandoning his family, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding in order to save his son, who has been kidnapped by his vengeful ex-partner in crime.

    Penpusher Posted on January 13, 2020 in Drama.

    not bad kid, not bad

    on January 14, 2020.
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    4 Review(s)

      Quick fix up:

      After his ex-partner in crime kidnaps his son, a reclusive fugitive must hunt down the hideout to save his boy’s life.

      Start with the inciting event then describe the MC and goal. In this instance, the action seems unclear. What is the MC going to do in order to save his son?

      Singularity Answered on January 13, 2020.

      Great! Thanks for that.

      Conceptually, is it interesting to you?

      Thanks again!

      on January 13, 2020.

      Hard to say as the story is unclear. What does he do to save his son?

      on January 13, 2020.

      I’ve been playing with the idea that the antagonist- rather than kidnapping the son- maybe he works on grooming the son and charming the struggling single mother- tries to nestle in with the family and eventually get the son involved in the gang (this in some way mirrors the way in which the protagonist was lured into the gang in his past) So the protagonist’s goal is to infiltrate the gang and get his son out of there (possibly by foiling a heist)

      on January 14, 2020.

      Out of your answer, “…possibly by foiling a heist…” sounds like the central action. This is an important part of the story that’s missing from the logline. How will foiling a heist directly save his son? How will he foil it? For example, will he turn into a police informant and have the criminals arrested?

      on January 15, 2020.

      Good questions. In order to save his son, I think he needs to sacrifice something of himself. In being a reclusive fugitive, he left his past behind- his various crimes as well as his family, and in doing so has become a selfish person with seemingly little remorse- he’d rather stay hidden and ‘free’ regardless of anything else. If he turned into a police informant for example, he would surely be noticed and his cover would be blown but he realizes this might be the only way to save his son

      on January 15, 2020.
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        “After his son is kidnapped by a vengeful ex-partner, a gangster who faked his own death to protect his family must now come out of hiding to save his only child.”

        Singularity Answered on January 13, 2020.

        Thanks for the suggestion!

        I have been toying with the idea of him faking his death, but I feel currently that as his primary flaw is selfishness, i don’t know if it would have been for the purpose of protecting his family. I feel that a big test in having to come out of hiding is the fact that his identity will most likely be compromised and he fears his own fate too greatly.

        on January 13, 2020.

        Interesting, thanks for the clarification.

        on January 14, 2020.
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          After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding to save him.

          Penpusher Answered on January 14, 2020.

          This is interesting! I would pursue this one.

          How is he going to “save him”? I feel like there should be a swap instead here. The vengeful partner recruited the son to draw the fugitive out and get him to do the dangerous job in his son’s place. That, to me, is an interesting situation.

          on January 14, 2020.

          Yes thank you! This goes along with a thought I have been having recently. I was stuck as to how/why the vengeful partner would want to lure my protagonist out of hiding, and what he would do to/with him when he did. Using the son is a good method to draw him out, blackmailing him into doing the job instead works well. I guess I need to figure out the final ‘twist’ – where the protagonist turns it back around on his ex-partner.

          on January 15, 2020.
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            After his vengeful ex-partner in crime recruits his son for a dangerous heist, a reclusive fugitive must come out of hiding and take his place in order to save him.

            Penpusher Answered on January 15, 2020.
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