RailGamm97Penpusher Asked: August 27, 20212021-08-27T01:35:02+10:00 2021-08-27T01:35:02+10:00In: FamilyAfter accidentally leaving an engagement ring inside the commuter train, a handsome young man must catch the train before it reaches San Jose.It’s meant to be a short film. The title is “Commuter Rail.” ShareFacebook2 ReviewsVotedOldestRecentRichiev 64 Loglines 3,637 Reviews 311 Best Reviews 82,278 Points View ProfileBest Answer Richiev Singularity 2021-08-27T01:41:17+10:00Added an answer on August 27, 2021 at 1:41 am I am assuming there is an ‘or else’ Is it lose the ring or lose the girl ——————-“After leaving a family heirloom wedding ring on a commuter train, a desperate groom must catch the train before it reaches San Jose or lose the wedding band forever.”1 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppbeezeebee 6 Loglines 29 Reviews 1 Best Answer 71 Points View Profile beezeebee Penpusher 2021-08-27T03:43:20+10:00Added an answer on August 27, 2021 at 3:43 am Even if he loses the wedding band forever, it doesn’t seem like the stakes are big enough to make an audience be on the edge of their seats. Also, it lacks a clearly defined antagonist. Who or what exactly is trying to stop the hero and why is San Jose the terminus somehow? Maybe his girlfriend asked for a very specific ring and somehow it’s important she gets that particular one to prove his love to her? It needs to feel like the end of the world for him to lose that ring…0 Share ShareShare on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedInShare on WhatsAppYou must login to add an answer. Username or email* Password* Remember Me! Forgot Password?