After being framed for the murder of two policemen, Peter, an inocent man with a criminal past, must fight to get his daughter back while running away from the revenge-driven police force and the angered population of the town that has been conditioned by the media to see him as a monster.

gmffr Penpusher Asked on November 23, 2017 in Thriller.
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7 Review(s)

After being framed for a murder, an ex-con must evade the police, an angry posse and then prove his innocence or else his daughter… (what about her?)

Cut this down to the essence. The problem I see is that he can’t “get his daughter” anywhere safe if he is still on the run. Who has her, if anyone?

What’s the ticking time bomb and what’s the stake/goal as it relates to his daughter?

Foxtrot25 Summitry Reviewed on November 23, 2017.
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If his goal, is to get his daughter back, the inciting incident should relate to that.

“After his daughter is taken from him, a father framed for murder must…”

Richiev Singularity Reviewed on November 23, 2017.
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Must fight to get his daughter back …. is too vague. Is he taking her on the run? Is it an actual fight, if so, with who?

CraigDGriffiths Summitry Reviewed on November 23, 2017.
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Thank you for your comments.

How about this?

After accidentaly killing two policemen, Peter, an ex-convict trying to change his ways, must elude the revenge-driven police force and an angered population conditioned by the media in order to get his daughter before leaving the country.

gmffr Penpusher Reviewed on November 25, 2017.
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