After being given a job at a underworld casino as a bartender, his first assignment is to protect the owner’s goddaughter from an Russian sniper hellbent on getting her back.

Samurai Posted on August 4, 2018 in Action.
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5 Review(s)

Why him? Why not a professional bodyguard team?

Singularity Answered on August 4, 2018.

Well, I couldn’t mention this in a logline, but I’m starting, hopefully, a franchise or something of that genre in the middle of it all, so once I get this story done, it will hopefully prompt the first few that need to get done in order to explain this one.
I am still revising it to explain that very problem, but a lot of the revisions seem to be a lot more wordy than I want them to be.

on August 4, 2018.

“After a hit is put on his bosses daughter, a former assassin turned bartender is pulled back into the game, but this time to protect the mark not to kill.” 

on August 4, 2018.

It’s a bit wordy, but I think I can shorten it down. It’s a very helpful piece. Thanks, Richiev.

on October 11, 2018.
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Why would a mobster tag a mere bartender  as his 1st  task after hiring him to mix drinks  to instead mix it up with a  Russian sniper?  Surely, the mobster has his own more qualified and experienced button men he would turn to first.

The logic of the logline just doesn’t compute.  Of course, you can’t explain everything about a story in a logline, but everything that is said about the story in a logline must make sense.

Singularity Answered on August 4, 2018.

As I stated earlier in the other comment, I’m starting in the middle of the entire franchise, so this may be unclear for now, but I’m still working on it.
If I had my way, I’d say the logline would be more like:
John Wick works as a bartender/bodyguard in a casino, his new assignment is protecting the owner’s goddaughter from a Russian sniper.
John wick implies the action and protecting the owner’s goddaughter is the conflict. Usually, movies I watch involving the underworld like gangster films and what not, usually  everyone has more than one ability and is a very skilled fighter, but that’s just me.

on August 4, 2018.
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I have the same concern as the other reviewers.  If he has these skills than why does he have to pull double duty as a bartender?  Why is he not already a bodyguard or hitman? You shouldn’t need other movie ideas you haven’t made yet to help explain the logline of the current movie.  The logline needs to stand on its own.  Him being a bartender doesn’t seem to have much to do with what the story is actually about.  Make it stand out with irony that’s believable.

Penpusher Answered on August 5, 2018.
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As stated by previous reviewers, the logline does not make sense. Even the antagonist’s goal is fuzzy: a Russian sniper wants to get back together.
You, use John Wick as an example of a franchise movie starting mid way through. But in John Wick, it is clearly established that he is a former hitman/fixer for the mob who retired for love. Same thing in Under siege, it is quickly established that Steven Seagal’s character is more than a mere cook.

When a broken former black ops soldier turned bartender saves an innocent women from murder, he is tasked by her estranged mobster godfather to protect her from her deranged sniper stalker.

Samurai Answered on August 5, 2018.
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If this is a John Wick kind of character, describe him as such. Instead of just “…bartender…” write ‘assassin gone bartender’ or ‘retired assassin gone bartender’.

Singularity Answered on August 7, 2018.
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