After discovering his new and only friend’s family relies heavily on government handouts, a sheltered teenager struggles against his privileged upbringing and his parent’s ideals to maintain this relationship.

    Summitry Posted on August 16, 2019 in Coming of Age.

    Title: Friends with Benefits

    on August 16, 2019.

    Version 1// After discovering his new friend’s family relies heavily on government handouts, a sheltered teenager struggles against his privileged upbringing and his parent’s ideals to maintain this relationship.

    on August 16, 2019.
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    3 Review(s)

      Hi Mike,

      I like the concept, and get a good sense of how the story will pan out. I think the logline is fine to be fair. It covers all the essentials  so I have little to suggest.

      Would you consider the parents to be the antagonists or will it be multiple antagonistic forces? Also, what do they stand to lose if their friendship doesn’t work out? I don’t think they’re questions that need answering in the logline, just interested. I suppose the arcs, and the stakes are internal/emotional ones.

      Nice work.

      Penpusher Answered on August 16, 2019.

      Hi AHarper84,

      I think mostly it’s the parents and his own preconceptions that he’s inherited from them that will be the antagonistic forces. But also he witnesses the hardships working against the benefit family and wants to help them but his friend’s parents also have ideals that they live by – like not accepting charity.

      In terms of what he loses, he’s a loner with no friends and this is the first one he’s found so he doesn’t want to lose him. This should most definitely be made more obvious in the logline.

      Appreciate your comments.

      on August 16, 2019.
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        An interesting and timely  topic.

        Instead of “sheltered” I would describe him as “privileged” or maybe “privileged and naive”, although I think most people who assume that if he’s in the privileged %1 then he’s led a life sheltered from the struggles and problems of the other 99%.

        My question is:  he struggles against …. for what?   It’s not enough that he’s struggling against something, he must also be struggle for a better alternative to the present situation.  What is the desirable alternative he seeks to replace the undesirable situation?  What is his remedy to the malady?

        Singularity Answered on August 17, 2019.
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          Hi Mike,

          Pretty solid logline. Nice work. My only input would be to think about giving your protagonist a bigger obstacle in life, something the audience would feel more sympathy for other than the issues caused by a privileged upbringing. I chose stutter below, as maybe the new friend helps him control that but you could be any impediment. This logline is a bit to long and wordy but you get the idea. Any just a thought.

          “A social outcast because of his stutter, a teenager discovers his first real friend’s family relies heavily on government handouts and desperately struggles to maintain the friendship as his privileged upbringing and parents ideals threaten to destroy it.”

          Johnny

          Penpusher Answered on August 19, 2019.
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