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kofi AgyarePenpusher
Posted: January 8, 20212021-01-08T21:34:53+10:00 2021-01-08T21:34:53+10:00In: Comedy

after escaping from the hands of a brutal casino own in las vegas, the unidentical and frustrated twin brothers, one white and one black come home to new york to bury their late father and start a new life but little did they know that new york has nothing better to offer them.

New York money

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    6 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2021-01-10T15:19:25+10:00Added an answer on January 10, 2021 at 3:19 pm

      “When they arrive in New York to bury their father, a pair of biracial twin gangsters discover the trouble they left in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas.”
      ——————————————
      I didn’t quite get what the story was about after reading your logline so the logline I wrote above is more of a guess.

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      • Odie Samurai
        2021-01-11T05:20:23+10:00Replied to answer on January 11, 2021 at 5:20 am

        Agreed, but what a great punch line! “trouble they left in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas”

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      • kofi Agyare Penpusher
        2021-01-11T21:10:37+10:00Replied to answer on January 11, 2021 at 9:10 pm

        thanks Richiev and am doing the rewriting

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    2. Odie Samurai
      2021-01-09T03:39:18+10:00Added an answer on January 9, 2021 at 3:39 am

      1. “After escaping from the hands of a brutal casino own in Las Vegas” What were the circumstances of their escape and is this owner still after them?
      2. “the unidentical and frustrated twin brothers, one white and one black” = biracial twin brothers?
      3. “come home to New York to bury their late father and start a new life” Which is the major event/catalyst? Fleeing Las Vegas or burring their father which takes the twins out of the norm and sets their story in motion?
      4. “but little did they know that New York has nothing better to offer them” Being this is a Comedy here’s your opportunity for the punch line.

      Keep going, take care.

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      • kofi Agyare Penpusher
        2021-01-11T21:14:36+10:00Replied to answer on January 11, 2021 at 9:14 pm

        thanks Odie, doing the rewriting

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    3. kofi Agyare Penpusher
      2021-01-13T01:40:21+10:00Added an answer on January 13, 2021 at 1:40 am

      a pair of stubborn biracial twin brothers on a run after robbing a casino in Vegas, flee to their home, New York to start a new life, but discover the trouble they left in Vegas, didn’t stay in Vegas

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